THE GREAT PIE-TASTROPHE!

Ok here it goes another Mama Kat writers prompt:

2.) Share a story of a memorable dinner.

THE GREAT PIE-TASTROPHE!

I’m not one for making pies but since I was hosting our first Thanksgiving in our new home I decided that some pie making was in order.  So I set out to make several scrumptious pies, pumpkin pie, apple pie and my husband’s favorite, cherry pie.  I toiled all week buying the ingredients, mixing, chopping, crumbling, kneading, flouring and baking.  By no means am I a Betty Crocker but I must say I was proud of my perfect pies and happily set them aside for the big feasting day.  The whole FAM-dango came to feast and we feasted all day long.  And what do you do after a day of feasting?  You feast some more on sweets.  So I brought out the pies and set them on a rectangular folding table.  I gave my brother-in-law the task of serving the ice cream but in my haste I had not let it thaw (big mistake!).  I left the premise (the dining room) to get the whipped cream when I heard the loud thump and the crashing sound.  I heard kids crying “OH NO!” and the older ones exclaiming “It wasn’t me Aunt Anne!”  I rounded the corner to see all of my pies crumpled on the floor in a pile of ruins.  Tears in my eyes, I looked at my BIL pleading for an explanation.  He of great humor, laughed and said he was pressing hard into the frozen ice cream when one of the table legs buckled, half the table went down and then the pies hung there like passengers on the Titanic and finally made the precipitous slide into the sea (well ok, our floor!).  So what did we do you may ask?  My dear nephew Kyle happily scooped a pie up, unfolded it and declared, “It may not be pretty, but we can still eat it!”  And feast we did….. on mangled, twisted, and crumpled up pies.  They were delectably delicious despite disaster!

*This is just one of my many pie-tastrophes.  There are two more (more stories for another day!) and I no longer bake a pie, I just buy!

Bird Of A Feather Blog Together!

I am noticing some therapeutic effects of blogging already!  I’m new to this blogging and am noticing some great changes in me because of it.   I no longer have the propensity to pick out the terrorist in every crowd (airport, malls, stores, public gatherings).  Instead I’m focused on picking out the bloggers in every crowd.  I’m a people watcher extraordinaire and now my mind is on alert for fellow bloggers.  When I see a Mom out and about now, I wonder… “Is she a blogger?”,   “What’s her blog about?”, “Does she belong to a community and which ones?”  “Is she hip, funny, fashionable, silly, pensive, poetic, outgoing, shy, serious, crafty, culinary, creative….etc?”  I’ve never thought about people this way before and it’s great.  With millions of bloggers worldwide the chances are very high that I could be sitting next to one on the subway, on a plane, in line at the store or at the park.  It just boggles this blogging mind to bits!    I just love the not knowing, the guessing, the speculating, the wondering and imagining about strangers.  I guess I could ask them but that would be kinda weird, sorta like asking the suspicious traveler, “So tell me sir… are you a terrorist cuz you sure are acting weird?”.  No, it just wouldn’t be polite.  I believe Miss Manners would frown on it!  But seriously, I really would like to know the bloggers among us.  Perhaps a ploy.  I could hijack the loud speaker and announce a giveaway on aisle 2, a live chat at 3 in the produce section,  Follower Friday fiesta in the Mexican aisle, and a craft or cooking demo on a budget with cleaning tips to follow in the seasonal section.  Then I would wait and see who came running and chances are they just might be a blogger.  No more guessing for me cuz we all know “Birds of a feather blog together!”

Hope=Warmth=Beach!

Here it goes... I am trying Mama Kat's writing workshop:)  The prompt is # 2.) April is national poetry month…Write a poem about hope.

Last week Spring teased us with some warm weather... talk about false hope... Winter is trying to make a comeback and snow this weekend!  The nerve!  So here is a little piece I wrote on my favorite place on Earth...the beach... and hoping it warms up soon so I can go there!

BEACH

There is one place on this planet that is heaven to me.  Its waves whisper my name as they lap upon the shore.  Like a siren song I am magically drawn to this castle of sand and pounding surf.  The shrill song of the seagulls echoes in my mind. I am drenched in the warmth of a radiant sun as miniscule specks of sand seep between my toes. The shore is bedecked in jewels from the sea.  A delicately spiraled nautilus, a glistening conch shell and bleach white scallop nestle in the sand, a bounty waiting to be reclaimed by the sea. The salt laden air permeates my body.  I inhale the briny bouquet.  My breath rises and falls like the ebb and flow of the tide.  Closing my eyes, I hear the sweet laughter of children chasing waves.  Tranquility envelopes me.  I walk for miles, etching footprints as I go.  The sea gently erases my path but I always know the way back.  I can return here for eternity and dive into happiness.

Whoopie Pie Oh My!

I just love how we (ok well I!) have to sabotage my work out efforts.  I equate working out with calories burned  and therefore earned. Then despite efforts to be good (which lasts nanoseconds) I go shopping and find the Whoopie Pies.  I stare at the Whoopie Pies.  They stare back with those big, brown chocolate eyes and sweet cream filling smiles.  And I'm a sucker for sweet.  So much for my Zumba class today.  I can just kiss those calories goodbye or in this case hello.  Well nothing ventured, nothing gained?  Or should it be something ventured (a workout), something gained (Whoopie Pie pounds).   Zumba = whoopie pie.  So technically I'm even.  Now I need to resist the rest of the pack.  I could dump them in the trash.... but... ohhhhh they are just so delightfully tempting.   I just might turn into Miranda on Sex And The City when she dumps the brownies in the trash and keeps going back to take bites  ("You'll probably need this information when you check me into the Betty Crocker clinic" )http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfk5iseN87k.  Thank goodness, no Betty Crocker for me (yet!), the kids just got home from school and they are devouring the Whoopie Pies! I knew there was a good reason I had kids in the first place.  WHOOPIE!  (and that's how they got here!).

PET PEEVES PETURB PARENTS PLENTY!

OK.. first off, I do not have a pet named Peeve although I think that would be a funny name for a pet.  Can you imagine calling him/her to come... "Here' Peeve.. Here' Peeve.   Get over here this instant Peeve!  Aww, good girl Peeve".  I can already predict what the neighbors' pet peeve would be!

No, I'm referring to those annoyingly bothersome habits that others do to just drive you up a wall.  I had a few as a kid.  Chomping food (my brother was a master at this and did it just to annoy me.. especially with his gum!), chalk (still can't stand it), and did I mention chomping food!!  Well that was about it back then, but I do believe that my number of pet peeves increases exponentially with age because I have tons of them now.

I began my day with a big offender (the number of clothes..mainly p.j.s being dumped in the basket daily.  I swear I empty the thing daily and whammo it's full again.  Is it possible the clothes are mating in there and the offspring are taking over?  Could folks fathom wearing something more than once if it's still clean?).  So that got me thinking about some of my other pet peeves.  Here are just a few of them.  "These are a few of my least favorite things".

1.  Things that beep at you as a reminder.  The microwave, the dryer, etc.  YES.. I did select that I wanted to be informed when my clothes are done, the food is done, I have a message in the inbox... but it is so annoying and demanding.  The thing is they always beep at the most inopportune times  (ahem.. like when I'm in the bathroom!).  It's bad enough that I have kids calling out "MOM", knocking on doors or worse busting in on you (another pet peeve!), and demanding something/anything/everything from you NOW.  Do I need a machine demanding me to "Hurry up and now!"?

2. Recycling left out on the counter.  Hmmmm... we have a recycling bin!  The idea is that you put the recycling IN it.  *Furthermore,  if said bin is full (and the trash bins), it needs to be taken OUT.  Not, let's see how much stuff we can cram into it before someone else notices and does something about it (ME!).

3. Spam mail.  Why???  Do I really need ...

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4. Anything/Anyone waking me up from sleep.  Enough said!

5. Fidgeting while watching t.v./movie.  OMG.. what is it with kids and the bouncing, headstands, somersaults, touching, poking, punching, up, down, up down while watching a show?  This has me perplexed because I am the model of good t.v. watching behavior.  I am still and silent and trying, trying, trying to enjoy a good show!

6.  This goes along with #5.  Commentary while I'm trying to watch a show.  Number one offender... hubby.  Oh sure the kids talk, ask questions, give their opinions on anything A-Z that have nothing to do with the show.. but the hubby makes comments about my shows, the plot or lack of one, and the actors/actresses.  Can you imagine if I made remarks during the ball game..."What's he wearing that for?  Didn't his mother teach him not to spit?  What's with all the butt slapping?  What's that lame dance?  I can dance better than that!"

7. Butting in line  (I just love that phrase.  "HE/SHE BUTTED!!!"  It just cracks me up {no pun intended}!)
IMO it's just rude and annoying.  The only way it's acceptable is in an emergency and I'm talking someone is about to have a baby, or has to GO (you know what I mean!) really badly, or there is blood/trauma/injury involved.  Otherwise, WAIT YOUR TURN like the rest of us.  What!!! Are you entitled?  I think not!

8. When the kids hang on you, touch, poke, lean, fall on, bump into you and especially when it's hot.  I call it "Pawing" and it drives me batty.  This behavior is akin to fidgeting and escalates when they are tired or bored, or worse when they are about to yak on you .  That's when you have that "AHA" moment.. "That's what little Johnny was trying to tell me.  He wanted to barf so he was hanging on me!"

I could go on and on but this may be your pet peeve so I'll stop here.  In summation:

PET PEEVES PETURB PARENTS PLENTY!
  

Dental Wet Bar for Mama's!

Going to the dentist with kids is hell, pure hell!   And I mean pure hell for the Mama's!  I had to take both kids today for their dental cleanings and it was tantamount to torture.  First off, they were an hour behind in their appointments (no surprises there).  I stopped counting how many times my kids bemoaned "when is it going to be our turn?" as if I knew, but ask away they did and repeatedly.  If I had only known how bad it would be in the hygienists' room, I would have gladly stayed in the waiting room forever.  OMG, the crying, the panic, the eyes wide as saucers and the white knuckled grips.  Oh and did I forget to mention the snot?  Always fun when mouths are pried open and the only breathing mechanism for them are their clogged up noses.  My daughter started crying when she saw her brother crying and carrying on (*** note to self... leave the highly empathetic kid in the waiting room next time!).  Then when it was her turn she wouldn't get in the chair.  I had to physically place her there against her will.  You know the saying.. "You can lead a horse to water.. but can't make him/her drink?"... we'll I couldn't even lead the horse to water.  Maybe that's because this horse was a mule and was stubborn as all get out!  I have the feeling the whole office heard my kids and wondered if they were having their arms and legs ripped from their bodies.  They sure acted like it.  Well we (I)... made it through the ordeal and am proud to say that I remained as composed as possible, however, I have one simple request...instead of sticker baskets or lollipops for kids... how about a much needed wet bar for the Mama's?  The kids get over things quickly.........but as for myself, I'm still traumatized by the whole ordeal.  Good thing, I have 6 months to recover!

We've Got Talent.... Yes We Do... We've Got Talent ...How 'Bout You?

So it's that time of year again...the annual school talent show (otherwise called the "Hootenanny" at our school) and this year I'm doing the sane thing and opting out of doing it.  In all fairness I did ask my daughter twice if she wanted to do it and she said "No".  I secretly jumped up and down, but on the outside I just smiled and said "Ok sweetie" and then politely turned down requests for me to choreograph a dance this year.   Last year ( I don't know what possessed me to do it?) I put together a routine for five, 7-8 year old girls.  It was  Super Trouper from Mama Mia and IMO it was great but I will readily admit it was over the top.  Yes, I succumbed to the perfectionism and outrageously overdone hype that is rampant in my hood.  We had disco lights flashing, band lights and get this a fog machine.  I'm ashamed to admit that I was "one of those parents", but at least I'm confessing my sins right?!!  We fit right in with the rest of the show stoppers.  The girls had fun and I enjoyed seeing their accomplishment and smiles when they got up on stage and actually did it (they were so nervous.. even with me in the wings wildly gesturing and dancing all the moves!). The talent show was entertaining as it always proves to be but the act that stood out the most for me and my friends, the one that taught us a lesson and showed what an elementary school talent show should be about... was the little second grader, sans costume, gimmicks,  props, etc. marching back and forth the stage belting out "John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt".  Ohhhh how we loved her and the beautiful, simplicity of her performance.  Bravo for teaching us what talent is all about!
Anne
P.S.  Don't ya know that little bugger of mine came home from school yesterday and asked if she could be in her Brownie troops' talent show act (the group I turned down when they asked me to help coordinate it!).  Sorry my Super Trouper.. but the answer is a resounding "NO".

Birthday Boy!

Who's the Birthday Boy?  No it's not my kid I'm talking about .. it's my husband.  Coming soon to a theatre near me (ahem.. this Friday!) and I'm clueless on what to get him.  Actually in a panic.  Why is it so hard to buy for men?  What do they want????? Me.. now that's easy peezy... a spa day, flowers, out for dinner (anything not to cook!), a nice outing, a vacation, chocolate, chocolate and more chocolate.. oh and don't forget the wine (not whine!).  See how easy is that!   But NOOOOO, for the life of me.. I'm always stumped on a great gift for Mike.  He always says he needs new clothes.. I get them.. and he's like "Thanks" and I don't see him wear what I bought and I end up returning said items.   He loves to read, so we get him books.  Cool!  He reads them and is like "Thanks" but really books... kinda boring.  I thought for Christmas I was clever and found the perfect gift . Mike is always saying he wants a portrait of the family so I got a session booked with a great local photographer, my son's former Kindergarten teacher, http://mandysrokaphotography.blogspot.com/.  He seemed happy enough about it,  but...... I'm still looking for that perfect gift with the WOW factor (no I can't afford a sports car for him, and I'm not dressing up in fishnet stockings....).  I'm looking for suggestions here.. hint, hint.  I'll help you out.. he loves computers (is a programmer), anything electronic, sailing, reading, football (especially the CU Buffs and Denver Broncos).  Oh and Mike if you are reading this, DON'T! 
Thanks (on behalf of me and the Birthday Boy!) for any ideas.  *Don't  let him persuade you to suggest the fishnet stockings or any dancing that involves a pole!

Rub-a-dub-dub... too many toys in the tub!

So I'm in the shower today thinking that I'm so tired of toys in the tub... always  Littlest Pet Shop critters, deep sea divers, boats, Lego's, dolls, etc.  Yes, I want a refreshing shower to wake myself up but sorry a sharp Lego piece wedged between my toes wasn't what I had in mind.  How is Calgon supposed to take me away?  I guess in the Playmobile police boat with LPS animals as my companions?  Again not what I had in mind.  My husband is always trying to get me to take a bath (hmmm, I wonder why?!), and I'm like "Who are you kiddin' pal?!!  In that heap of toys.. ughhh no way!".  The scary thing is as much as I would wish the toys away... I know that I'll miss them someday and all they represent.  Childhood in all it's glory.  The pretend world of play.  My daughter can (and sometimes will!) spend an hour in the tub and I love eavesdropping on her pretend scenarios/play with her tub toys.  I will miss that so much someday.  So what's the hurry.. I can put up with a few toys.  Calgon can take me away some other day, just don't take away my kids imaginative play!  Oh and one final note,  an even scarier thing... my husband doesn't seem to mind the naked Barbies in the tub!!!! (hmmm.. maybe he should try to get them to take a bath!! )LOL.

Bye, Bye White!

In the 8 years we've lived in this house we've been slowly painting each room and ending the sea of white that surrounded us.  Yes, the entire home was painting white and crying out for some color.  "Paint is cheap" my husband says, "so paint all you want".   Well actually I'm the edger here and Mike is the roller (he's just so good at it after growing up helping his parents paint their 80 unit apartment complex every time tenants moved in and out).  So yesterday we finally attacked the foyer and front hallway and all those doors.  Talk about some heavy edging.  I spent nearly 6 hours alone yesterday edging. My finger is red and about to blister:(  And imagine this... I changed my mind on the color after we put the first coat on (yes, it's a woman's perogative to change her mind whenever and wherever she so chooses!!!).  The color was too peachy.. so I went darker with a more tan undertone.  Love it now!    I'm sure my Mom won't.  She is a staunch ally of the color white and was aghast when I started painting the rooms. "Why are you painting the rooms red, green, blue, pink.. etc.  White is so nice!".   You'd have thought I had mortally wounded the walls by painting them.  Yup.. that lovely Maple Leaf Red (Benjamin Moore) in the dining room is really blood oozing from the wounds we inflicted.   No offense to you allies of white out there.... but IMO  I think color adds warmth, cheerfulness, attitude, and a good splash of life to a room.  As much as I love my color choices though, I'm certain the next person to buy this house will think they are hideous.  Isn't that always the case!  In the meantime I'm going to soak up my new color, Arizona Tan,  and pretend I'm surrounded by warm, desert sands:)

Diarrhea At Disney!

I know, I know .. what a disgusting title.  Sorry! Got kids... got potty mouth!  I'm having a bad, bad memory of a trip years ago. Why this memory now?  Well I'll tell you.  Kids in the hood are sick.  As far as I know it's fevers and barfing (ughh).  Now we all know that when we are in the midst of it ourselves it's the worst ever and we Mama's go kind of commando.  "How'd you get this?  Who gave it to you?  Didn't you wash your hands 50 million times like I told you?!!!  and "WHY ME?".  You vent that little Miss Sally Sunshine's kids never get sick and you sorta wish they would.  Trust me.. I've been there.  I've traversed that battlefield and somehow made it out alive.  And maybe I'm somebody's Miss Sally Sunshine but I hate to burst your bubble... we've had it.. we've had it all... including diarrhea at Disney and puke on presents (Christmas morn!).  It's Murphy Law and no matter what drastic measures you take to keep the nasty sicko bugs away, they creep up on you at the worst possible moments (Birthdays, vacations, Holidays and so on...).   If you find yourself in the depths of poo poo and you don't know what to do...remember it could be worse.  Diarrhea at Disney ruins a Dumbo ride and the Princesses frown at poo on their gown. 
Well this Mama's Gotta Go....duty calls  (NOOOO, get your head out of the toilet!... I've got chores to do!)  Anne

O.S.I.F.

T.G.I.F.M.A.  (Thank God it's Friday My A**!).  I'm sorry but I don't look forward to Friday the way I once did (back when I was partying and Friday night was lots of fun!)  Nowadays it's more like O.S.I.F.  (Oh sh*t ! It's Friday!).  Let's see...... could it be the kids home all weekend and all the ensuing activities.  Tonight it's tennis 6-7:30, followed by an early morning Scouting for Food, 9am, with the cub scouts, then tennis again in the afternoon and tennis on Sunday.  Add in the household chores/projects to somehow fit in....hopefully we can paint the hallway this weekend, cleaning up the yard would be nice, and someday soon I need to dust... yup, I actually wrote "Anne was here" and "Wash me!" on my furniture today!!!  Classy huh?  That's just not going to cut it in good ol' Severna Perfect!   So instead of T.G.I.F.,  I'm all for T.G.I.M. (Thank God it's Monday!).  Come on Mom's you know what I mean.  Need I say more?!  Well, T.M.G.G. (This Mama's Gotta Go)  G.S.W.D. (Get Some Work Done)  B.K.A.H.F.S. (Before Kids Are Home From School).  Anne

And they're off......!!!

Wow.  Who knew I would inspire two of my friends to start blogging by simply sharing my efforts with them.  We are all new to this blogospere world and I have to tell you their blogs are amazing.  Check out Psychedelic Waterfall and If You Give A B**ch  A Blog.  I feel so lucky to know such talented women.  You go girls!!!!

Well, back to where I left off last night when I nearly burned the lasagna.  My blog name..Momma's Gotta Go.  Hmmm.  It does sound a bit like I have to run to the loo, or skip to my loo if I'm really happy.  You know what though... I do have to go lots now that I've had kids.  I have the ADHD of all bladders.  When I had babies I thought I'd be hip deep in diapers but they didn't tell me that I better start thinking about something absorbent for myself.  Jump=pee, cough=pee, laugh=pee, car rides=many stops for me.. not the kids.  You get the picture and it's not pretty!  Alas, that's not the reason for my blog name.  I picked it because I'm always on the go or if not I want to be.  I love to travel (who doesn't?!) and want to go places, see new things, meet new people.  Escape reality.. ... hell ya! (who doesn't?!).  Plus I rarely sit still.. up, down, here, there.  Just ask my shadow, my dog, who follows me every time I move in the house.  It's like she has radar on me... beep, beep, Mom's moving..better get up and follow her...ohhh here's she goes again.. on the move...pant, pant... can't she ever sit still.  Sorry Lily, my pal.. nope I've got to get stuff done.  Check off my to do list which always grows bigger even as I check things off.  That reminds me of a riddle I recently heard... and if you can figure it out then you are the WINNER (of what I don't know but I'll think of something good and it may involve chocolate!)....."What grows bigger the more you take from it?" 

Well, this Mama's gotta go... kids will be home from school soon and I'm not ready for the chatter, moods, requests, complaints, and the papers... god the papers, the papers.  Please schools stop destroying the rain forest.. save the trees...must we waste so much paper?  And I have 2 kids at school, do I need every flyer x 2 or can just one suffice?   Oh well.. I better go enjoy my clean kitchen table free of clutter for these last 30 minutes.  And dear Mike.... yes, I do clean the house everyday  and it stays clean until exactly 4:32 when the kids arrive home and destroy every shred of my work.  Maybe I should take before and after pictures daily?  LOL....ooops no LOL... LOL=pee:(

Naming your blog...harder than I thought!

Ok,  here I go again.  Trying to figure out how to blog.  Somewhere lost in computer world, I have another blog..lost and crying out for me to remember my user name and password.  This time I'm coming to you armed with knowledge.  Knowledge for us dummies.. yes it's Blogging for Dummies.  Hello there.. I'm your dummy.. at your service.  So I guess I'm doing something right since I'm typing this, picked a pretty template and created myself in a profile.  Insert.. pat on the back, applause here!  (I'd really like to insert an image though...anyone, anyone.. how do I do this?).

I'd really love to hoot and holler, dance for joy, jump up and down.. but I have a long way to go before I figure this blogging world (blogosphere? a word from my Dummy book!) out.  And geez, just naming this blog was an arduous task.  What the heck do you call a blog that will sum you and your purpose up in a short, sassy, memorable way?  (My next arduous task will be figuring out my blogging purpose!) Dang.. you got me there!  I'm a stay-at-home Mom who likes hiking, camping, sailing, traveling, dancing, writing, and wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings.... these are a few of my favorite things!  Well, you get the picture... naming a blog is a slog, in bog with a frog, just ask our dog, "Eggnog" (ok, ok .. we didn't name our dog Eggnog,  it's Lily!). Sorry to digress, but naming a blog is pure stress.

Finally, it came to me and without bells and whistles and shooting stars.  Just plain and simple, it sounded right for me... Momma's Gotta Go.  No really... Momma's Gotta Go.............................. I believe my lasagna is burning as I write this.  So long for now!  Anne